19-year-old faces disappointment after mom misses high school graduation for a beauty treatment: 'I just stared and felt numb'

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    I found out my mom wasn’t at my graduation because she was getting her lashes done

    I (19F) just graduated last week. It was a big deal for me. I worked through high school, helped raise my younger siblings, and still managed to get into a decent university. I wasn't expecting a huge celebration, but I was really hoping my mom would be there. She promised she would be. She didn't show.
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    Jaya
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    At first I assumed maybe she was stuck in traffic or something went wrong at home. I texted her. No response. She didn't come at all. That night, she posted on her Instagram story, a boomerang at a lash salon. The caption said, "Self-care before the weekend!" It was posted during my graduation ceremony.
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    I didn't say anything to her. I just stared at it and felt... numb. She texted me the next morning, "Sorry I missed it, babe. We'll do dinner this weekend." I smiled and said "It's okay," because that's what I always do. But no, it's not okay. I'm done pretending it doesn't hurt to never be a priority.
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    Cheezburger Image 10528749056
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    Commenters commiserated with her story.

    lychigo Congratulations on your graduation! Unfortunately, you realize as you get older that parents can often be pretty damaged individuals. I'm sorry your mom wasn't there for you and was just thinking about herself...for...instagram. Take her advice, and do what you need to do to not keep getting hurt by her.
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    Ok-Cap-9630 it's wild how some parents think love means showing up when it's easy, not when it matters.
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    xxlinus I think it hurt more since this was quite easy. Just do lashes some other time.
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    bramblefish Congrats and good luck. Me, I would tell your mom you can't do dinner because you have lash appointment.
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    RubyNotTawny Or just don't show up and don't reply to her texts. (Although it's more likely that Mom wouldn't show and wouldn't notice OP wasn't there.)
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    KatarinaRen Why say it's okay when it isn't? Don't do this to yourself. It will become a pattern with everyone else entering your life and you'll always light yourself on fire to keep the others warm...
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    Natural-Beautiful498 Yes!!! Tell her what a POS she is, and that's it is NOT okay!!!!
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    Odd Welcome7940 You are an adult now. Stable adults don't keep relationships with people who don't care about them. Time to yeet your whole mom. Bye mom.
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    carlee16 Absolutely! I always wondered why people never broke ties to their family members. The response I always get is, "They're family. You should always forgive." Family or not, it's never ok to feel disrespected. My cut off game is strong.
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    ghoulina0 . Sounds like you had it tough growing up with a mum who thinks things like that are a priority. Congratulations on a lifetime of achievement, of pulling through, of showing up, of being disciplined, of your hard work, of trusting and believing in yourself. Please find a way to celebrate either by yourself or with other loved ones <3 Don't feel ashamed of asking. You deserve it. I hope you find a way :)
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    Bdr1983 Congratulations on graduating! It's a big deal, and should've been treated as such. My daughter just got her diploma, and we made it a VERY big deal, because it should be. My parents never did. They showed up to the ceremony, but that was it. Not even as much as a card or a special dinner. I promised myself I would do things way different from that, and I did. Surround yourself with people that know your worth, that treat you with the respect you deserve. Yeah, she's your mother, but she
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    itsmiddylou "Actually mom, I've been thinking, and it's not okay. It's not okay that you felt the need to go do "self care" during my high school graduation. It's not okay that I had to parent my younger siblings to help you out which caused me to lose out on my teenage years. It's not okay that you just blew off what should've been a day of celebration with a text that said, "sorry babe." And before you say that we're "family" and sacrifices need to be made, at the end of the day YOU are their
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    First-Bridge7278 Don't say it's okay. Maybe sit down and have an honest talk about her behavior and how it's affecting you and the consequences it'll have going forward. If you can't do that, sometimes an email or a letter is a lot better if you're struggling to voice your words or afraid of her reaction to guilt trip you. Regardless, i believe going low contact with your mother would help you a lot so you wouldn't feel the disappointment of her not showing up. But brightness Op! Congratulations
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    Lima_Bean_Jean This will continue throughout your life, until you are able to DO for her. Please go to therapy when you are in college, they usually have some free resources. You are going to need to learn how to set boundaries with her going forward, and manage your expectations.
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    Key-Pay-8572 Reply to her Instagram and say glad your eyelashes look great. Sorry, my graduation interfered with your appointment. But hey, you look great for the weekend. Let's take a raincheck on a dinner until you choose me over fake lashes.
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    AffectionateScar7249 Go to college. Step away. Your siblings may feel bad at first, but you can't burn the candle at both ends. Be the person you need to be to crawl yourself out of this toxic environment. I did. I don't regretted it and it's been a few years, but my siblings did the same as I did. Walked out and bounced to a better life.

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